Sanctuary

Thoughts are relentless.  The struggle between good and evil never-ending.  Every situation is assaulted by a barrage of possibilities, a myriad of solutions.  But which are right...which are wrong?  What are the consequences and potential benefits of each?  It amazes me each time I wake up and find that my mind continues the endless crusade to offer up any and all possible answers to the incalculable quandaries laid before me every day.  I grow tired of this war; I yearn for a refuge where, uninterrupted, I can retreat from my thoughts and remain unburdened for a spell.  But there is a place, I’ve been there before; it seems like forever ago, but I’ve stood in that room…I’ve felt the fabric of the furniture with my fingertips.  Dormant from my life for so long, a familiar voice calls to me and it calls me by name.  It’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time, it’s a name that only the disembodied voice and I would know.  I’m closer now, closer than I ever was before, but it’s still out of reach.  My outstretched arm can’t quite get me within range of this haven…my destination.  It’s close, very close and I get closer to seizing it with every new day.  I will attain it, I won’t stop until I do…I’ve come too far.  I will walk into the room, I will feel the fabric on my fingertips, I will close my eyes and there will be peace…serenity.  I will have arrived at my objective and there waiting for me, untold treasures that I have denied myself for so long…so very long.

Vacancy

I slowly slide the key around the ring, waiting for it to break free of its circular prison.  I can’t help but think of a children’s puzzle that’s extremely easy to complete in an effort to boost a little tike’s sense of accomplishment.  After seconds, the key falls loosely into my hand—my heart drops slightly in my chest.  I drop the keys remaining on the ring into my pocket and instantly notice how much lighter they feel without the heavy key gripped tightly in my hand.  I take a deep breath and let out a sigh as I reach forward and lay the key on the counter.  As I walk towards the door, I notice that I can’t feel my feet touching the ground as I step; I feel weightless, as though I am floating towards the door rather than walking.  The hardware on the door is warm and inviting as I wrap my hand around it and twist the knob.  I don’t want to leave, but before I can react, I’m already outside.  I can hear the faint “swoosh” of the door as it slowly closes behind me.  With my back to the entrance my mind strays, I think about what I have left behind, I think about all the wonderful times I had in that place and I think about what could have been if I would have done something differently.  I can’t stop the door from closing, I dare not try, because I know that there’s no going back.  When that door closes, I will never be able to step across that threshold again—my heart sinks a little more.  The door finally comes to a rest with a “click”.  I turn around and observe that it’s already been welded shut.  I hang my head for a moment, silently saying my goodbyes to that happy time in my life.  As I turn away from the door, my eyes fall upon another door a little farther down the crimson hallway.  I know I haven’t been there yet—and I don’t know when I will be able to muster up the energy or the courage to see where it leads.  It’s too soon…and I have yet to find a key that could potentially turn the bolt and reveal the mystery held within.   I know that I will see what's behind that door someday, it’s inevitable…but not now…not for awhile.